What is Love Actually?

Post BOWLED N THE BEAUTIFUL, people around have always come upon me for suggestion on their love life. I take it quite casually and sometimes I scare to give an advise, after all it may matter somewhere very badly. But anyway if someone had ever asked what my perception towards it is, I had a lot to share with. Actually, I am really not sure what exactly love is? I mean is there any criteria or some special quality to recognize it. Now, sitting back I thought some of them what kind of girl I would like to date…
• Good looks (that’s what attracts first)
• Stupid (girls are better not intelligent, I prefer dumb too)
• Modern not a spoilt brat though (At least she should have an Orkut account)
• Simple and soft minded (I hate arrogant girls)
• Not rich (I cannot afford them)
• Art Lover something other than study (Creative minds are always a turn on for me.)
• Lastly, an interesting life (I can’t justify this statement)
Oh my God! What I ended up writing? My engineering mind fused me creating all new qualities for an ideal match but that’s how I actually think for everything.
Anyway, talking about girls in my life, well truly I never had a long relationship and one I had were not even commitment type perhaps the easy ones. Sometimes, I too misunderstood mere friendship to love and most of the time I was shy or didn’t get a chance to speak my heart out. Whatever! I do get carried away, girls make my world go round and everything else can wait. Having a crush is like having a cigar, its starts with a flame continues with a glow & dies in ashes but who cares we are chain smokers! (I got this sms some years back). Anyway, that’s quite normal and I am proud of that considering the new ideology these days.
But sometimes I do feel deprived for not having a permanent companion but is it love has to be bounded; I mean is togetherness that important. I have this girl in my life whom I loved very much. But then one day when we met after a long time things between us changed all of a sudden. Of course she still didn’t feel anything for me; I am just an old classmate of hers. I had moved on from that now. But then I thought she was not the one whom I adored all these days and it’s really not because of the fact that she turned down me. Wealth is a turn on for her, she is practical about relationship and love meant fun for her. May be she was all the same but then I never understood her properly but then I still have some feelings somewhere within for her. For what was that actually? Just because she is beautiful, so is that what matter most?
Secondly, this new girl whom I came across through Orkut, “my just friend who is a girl” and not my girl friend, had made such a big impact on my life in few days, I never saw her in real, just few photographs and she is not a Miss. India. Our friendship grew with exchange of sms daily and couple of calls but they were long, she has a sweet voice. I don’t know why but she is been always comfortable in telling whatever I asked her. Sometimes, she did hesitated but still I came to know everything about her. I was really surprised on an instant when I read about a definition of love which says it’s a PLAN COINCIDENCE and indeed this may be the one. Everything about us is so co-incidental and if we get along together, it would be really great fascinating story to tell. Yes! I have deep feeling for her too. I wait for the whole day for the night to come and then for 9.30 when she would sms me and when she doesn’t, I go nuts. We have though many barriers between us but I hardly count on them. Perhaps, I cherish on the common things we got. The feeling is different; I don’t feel attracted towards her physically. I mean I never fantasize her. I just care for her like anything. I pray that she gets whatever she desires in life and I curse dreadfully to those who had hurt her. My friends say I love her, so I checked on her in my terms. She is dumb and innocent. She admires me as a person and very much kind hearted. And yeah! I am very much interested in her life. In one word, she is a God-sent angel and really her name is a synonym to a forest Goddess. That’s my PC password too. But the basic thing is missing, physical attraction. Friends say that is what true love but still I’m not sure. After all, sms never carry emotions and feelings and besides we are yet to meet.
Do girls like honest guys? I say whatever in my heart directly. Some admire it and some hate me for this but I don’t regret. My this girl in life had been always difficult for me to understand. Our meeting was quite hilarious and strange. Anyway, it took us a long time to get closer. Of course I was busy with other charms around and when I was stranded alone, I clung to her just for a support. She was indeed very good in comforting me and again a feeling for her grew after that. But I always knew she was out of reach, she is very rich and truly money really matter her very much. Whenever we talk, the topic always ends on it. And it’s just about her, for most of the girls it is a big turn on. Why money that important? Is it greater than love? Not for me because I value affection. And also in this case, that was not it! There were many problems. She really cannot come out of her arrogance and presumptuous nature. She really doesn’t ever bother hurting me, for the sake ego. I tried my best but gave up. Now it’s a matter of self respect and I need a break out of it. So here it is, she is beautiful and rich but I had stopped bothering for her.
So, after thinking on so much I still don’t have a solution to my dilemmas and so many journey in search of true love is still on. One of my internet quoted that I may end up involving with a wrong person, let love search you. Have some patience. Whatever? I conclude…
“I find it too difficult to fall in love because people won’t accept me the way I’ am and I can’t do it either. It’s like a mix and match scheme I have tried out all the combinations but I stand out unique.”